Level 5 Sorceress
by writeallnight
Summary: Poor Tim has no idea that Tony is the one pulling the strings in his latest relationship.  Fortunately Ziva is about to enlighten him.


A/N: So this is an episode tag to "Love and War" as well as my first NCIS fic. Yay! Hope you enjoy! Reviews are wonderful!  


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"I'm going to the bathroom, Tony," McGee announced as he rose from his chair.

"Thank you for the memo, Elf Lord. I look forward to reading the report later," Tony replied as he glared at the younger man.

"Really? Because I wasn't planning on-"

"Just go, Probie!"

A slight smirk on his face McGee began making his way to the men's room. He was nearly there when someone grabbed him from behind and pulled him into darkness. "Ow! What the-" McGee struggled to free himself from the grip of his attacker.

"Be quiet, McGee!"

He stopped moving. "Ziva?"

The light was clicked on and McGee came face to face with his assailant. "Of course it is me, McGee," Ziva sighed.

"What's going on?" McGee looked around. "Are we in a supply closet?"

Ziva winced. "Yes. McGee, I have to tell you something."

McGee stared at her. "You kidnapped me and put me in a supply closet."

"I did not kidnap you," Ziva rolled her eyes, "I need to talk to you-"

"You grabbed me and pulled me in here against my will, Ziva. Here in America we call that kidnapping," McGee said with a huff.

"I did not kidnap you, McGee, we are still in the building," Ziva pointed out. "I will let you go as soon as I finish saying what I need to."

McGee's eyebrows rose. "Ziva. I know that my fame as an author and my dashing good looks might be appealing, but I'm already in a relationship."

"McGee! I did not drag you in here to ask you on a date!" Ziva cried in exasperation.

"Oh, well that's good because I really like this girl, Ziva and-"

"Your Level 5 Sorceress is Tony!" Ziva blurted out.

McGee's head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"Your Level 5 Sorceress is Tony," she sighed. "That's why she didn't show up last night. I'm so sorry, Tim."

McGee leaned heavily against the wall. "I can't believe this. I can't believe he would do something like this," he smiled grimly. "Actually, yes I can. It's exactly like something Tony would do."

"It was a terrible thing to do," Ziva agreed. "I don't think he meant for it to go so far. He was just being…Tony."

McGee shook his head. "I should have known she was too good to be true. I should have known someone like that would never want me. I'm such an idiot."

"No! Oh, Tim, that is not true! You are just, a little too trusting sometimes. But you are not an idiot," Ziva told him kindly.

"Why are you telling me all this, Ziva?" he finally asked.

"You looked so…sad this morning. I could not take it anymore. And I did not really want to see you cry," Ziva admitted.

"I don't know why I even bother anymore," he said dejectedly. "I should just accept my fate as a perpetual bachelor."

"Oh, McGee," Ziva patted his cheek. "You will find your Level 5 Sorceress someday. And she will be much less hairy than Tony."

Tim managed a small smile. "Thanks, Ziva. I appreciate this."

"Well, I cannot let Tony torture you too much. You break too easily."

"I guess we should probably get back to work," McGee said.

"Gibbs will be looking for us," Ziva agreed.

McGee reached for the door's handle and then paused. "Why did we have this conversation in a supply closet?"

Ziva shrugged. "It was either this or the men's bathroom, and I am tired of going in there."

McGee's eyebrows rose once more. "Why…?" he shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

His hand returned to the doorknob. "Wait!" Ziva stopped him. "We cannot leave at the same time!"

"Hm…good point."

McGee thought for a moment. "Okay, you go first and I'll follow in a few minutes."

"Yes, that is a good plan," Ziva agreed.

She moved to go, and then paused. "Do not tell Tony that I told you," she warned. "I simply did not want to see your feelings get hurt. I do not want to start a war."

"I won't tell him."

Ziva reached for the knob yet again. "Wait!"

She turned and looked at McGee with a frown. "What?"

"Thanks, Ziva."

She smiled. "You are welcome," and with that she was gone.

McGee waited a few minutes and then poked his head out the door. Looking around and seeing no one he stepped out and turned to close it. "Hi, McGee!"

McGee gasped and turned around. "Abby! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry," Abby smiled. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

Abby nodded knowingly. "Ziva told you, didn't she?"

"Told me what?" McGee decided to play dumb.

"That Tony made up a fake identity and pretended to be a girl online and you-"

"Okay!" McGee looked around nervously. "Yes, Ziva told me…all that. You knew too? Were you planning on telling me? Or were you just going to let Tony string me along?"

"McGee!" Abby's eyes showed her hurt. "Of course I was going to tell you. Ziva just beat me to it."

"Oh, well…sorry."

"He really got you good this time," Abby's eyes sparkled.

"This is not funny, Abby," McGee said angrily.

"Oh, no it's not, Timmy," Abby bit her lip trying to hide her amusement. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, grudgingly, "I will be."

"Aww, Timmy," Abby hugged him. "You'll find her someday. I know it."

"Thanks, Abby."

When they pulled apart Abby grinned. "You know, there might be an upside to this."

McGee frowned. "How?"

"Well, Tony doesn't know that you know…"

Slowly McGee began to smile. "Yeah, you're right. He doesn't, does he?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks Abby."

"Anytime, McGee."


End file.
